WHY MCDONALD’S CARES MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN THAN THE FAMILY COURT DOES
Recently someone posted a picture of me on Facebook stuffing my face at McDonald’s and captioned it “living the dream having a meeting catching up on casework”.
One social media viewer commented on us eating what they referred to as “rat food” which prompted me to post the following reply:
“John, so I thought about this and food choices aside (I happened to have discovered many years ago that their toffee lattes were an excellent cure for my migraines) lets for one moment compare McDonalds to the Family Courts.
I work on an average of 25-40 cases a month, those cases cover the entire length and breadth of the country, everyone in a different court, and every case starts with the c100 Application Form, and every case involves at least 1 child. Not one of those cases is processed the same way to get to the first hearing. Not one of those cases is processed in the same amount of time to get to the first hearing. Not one of those cases have their payments taken in exactly the same way. Not one of those cases is seen by the same level of Judge at the first hearing, if we even get an in-person hearing. Not one of those cases, with exactly the same criteria, gets the same treatment by the Court, or the same recommendations by Cafcass ahead of the first hearing.
Not one of those cases can be made and paid for on line or on your phone. If you walk into a Court building these days (if they let you in) there is no simple screen to click and select to get your application started, you are sent straight outside to use a faceless drop box and if you do get to speak to someone the chances are you have caused them the most horrific inconvenience by pressing the enquiry buzzer in the first place it will show on their face. There is no "have a nice day" when you interact with counter staff in the Family Court. And for this platinum service the very least each of you will pay in Court fees to get your Application processed is £ 232.00, this may be more if you file a c1 and DNA request alongside it, and that's before you speak to a solicitor who asks for £10,000 up front before you even get started, and not one solicitor will give you the same advice as the next for that eye watering amount.
By the time you attend your first hearing your simple "I just want to see my children the way I was seeing them last week before Mum's new boyfriend turned up" has turned into a living nightmare where you are now accused of rape and domestic abuse, a social worker has called you to say you cannot see your children anymore, not even to call them, and suddenly your safeguarding letter reads like the Baby P case. And all you went in for was to see your children every other weekend.
The family courts keep no records of outcomes, they cannot tell you when your hearing will be because they do not know, that depends on if they have enough court time or enough judges and no they don't even know if it has been processed yet, they will let you know, in the meantime sorry you don't get to see your children.
Cafcass can't tell you anything because they have not go an order in your name, and then suddenly they give you 2 days notice of an interview that you can't make because you have to take the time out off work and your boss says no because there is not enough staff to cover you.
When you do finally get to Court, which could be anything from 2 weeks to 6 months after your first application (sorry did we mention you can't see your children while this happens) the Court cannot tell you when your order is going to come out to you because they do not know, they are understaffed and most of them are still working from home, so pick a number between 2 and 16 weeks if you are lucky by which time you've had another hearing which got vacated because no one did what was on the last order because they did not receive it.
Personally I would take McDonalds every single day of the week over the family courts. I can walk into any McDonalds in any part of the country and the menu is the same, the price is the same, I get the same Toffee Latte and Fillet of Fish Burger in McDonalds in Winchester as I do in Wrexham, it costs me the same, the person behind the counter speaks to me in exactly the same way, they process it in minutes in line with their top down company guidelines, I know exactly what I am getting for the low level fee I pay, anywhere and every day. If they give me the wrong Order, which is rare, they swap it no argument.
Every product McDonald’s produce is accounted for, every wasted order accounted for, there are spreadsheets, records, outcomes and processes that are poured over and analysed every day to keep that company rolling out the same burger in every city in the country in exactly the same way. There are no surprises, generally, (unless they are out of milkshakes that day), the staff do what they are required and expected to do, they don't argue with me and I am in and out in minutes.
McDonalds is a far more superior, efficient, reliable and successful model than the family courts and they churn out "rat food" as you put it, what a shame the family courts don't treat you and your children with as much attention, accountability, detail and care as McDonald's does with a meat patty.
NB. At The Custody Coach we pride ourseves of efficiency, providing our clients with detailed information packs and admin processes in-house at every step of the Court process, to assist you, the client, but sadly we have no influence over the adminstration processes, timetables or operations of the Court.